Once upon a time it was all about the job. You went to college to get a good job. You chose your major based, in no small part, on the job you could get after graduation. You drove a bus, learned to type or got your MBA from NYU Stern so that you could get a great job making great money. There was never really any talk of what do you like to do. Oh sure you could say that coloring with crayons made you happy, but there was no feasible way you could make a living at it so you settled for a job instead.
Then suddenly, everyone started talking about passion instead of a job… do what you love and be passionate about your work… passionate about what you do… Even as I counsel my kids on their college choices I’m not asking them what kind of job they want. I am telling them to study what they are interested in. Do what makes you happy. Do what you love and (hopefully) the money will come. Hold on… Where did all that passion come from?
I remember watching Oprah, a few years ago as she interviewed Po Bronson. In his best seller, "What Should I Do with My Life?" he interviewed over 1000 people about how they found their ideal work. The work that fed their soul, the work they were meant to do and the work that makes them happy. I think the evolution of passion at work was right on time, but I don’t know if it was coincidence.
Is it a coincidence that we started this search for passion around the same time as the ever expanding real estate bubble loomed large overhead? I think not. How about real estate…. We can’t count on those golden nest eggs of home equity anymore…. A fortunate few may have gotten in on reverse mortgages while real estate prices held steady. But many current retirees got caught in the real estate bubble burst and are now holding upside down mortgages instead of sitting pretty on their home equity nest eggs. Without that safety nest, you may need to work longer, and if you’re going to work longer, I sure hope you love what you do.
Today’s dot.com Gen Y workers are not the work-40-years-for-the-same-company-and-retire-happily-and-comfortably-with-a-pension types… Most of today’s workers will not see the cushy and comfortable pension funded golden years as some of the baby boomers and other previous generations. One would be hard pressed to find a company these days that even offers a pension. With social security is breathing its last breath and many of us funding our own retirements with 401k’s and IRA’s, our golden years are getting further and further out of reach. A few years back 55 was retiring early, but realistically, 70 may be the new threshold. Work, work, work.
This all comes at a time when 40 is the new 30. Most of us are trying to extend our lives, living healthier to live longer. 30 minutes a day of cardio, cholesterol free organic heart smart dieting are buzz words from our new healthy life mantra. The Center for Disease Control has set the mark at 77 for the average US life expectancy. That means that we’ll probably have to work longer to support our longer healthier lives. All the more reason to love your work…. You’re going to be doing it for much longer than you thought!
So, let’s revisit the notion of passion at work. I maintain that the evolution of the idea is no coincidence, but rather an idea born out of necessity. The bad news is that financial factors may dictate that we work way past 55. The good news is that if we keep striving to live healthier, we’ll be healthy enough to keep working as long as we need to. The silver lining? If we choose our work wisely, and work at what makes us happy, our passions will keep us smiling. That’s not a conspiracy, that’s just good timing.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I Believe in Faith
Faith is that little voice. The ‘yes, we can’ mantra of the Obama presidential campaign that used to ring in my head which is now fading and becoming harder to hear. Like a parade which is passing me by.
Faith is the belief that you’re going to be ok no matter what happens, no matter where you end up, no matter what not-so-great ideas that you act on—faith is the belief that it’s going to be alright. I had that kind of faith when I was younger. I look back on decisions I made and paths that were probably best not taken and I shudder with incredulity. Hindsight may be 20/20 but I’d give anything for an ounce of the faith that I had back then.
Faith is falling asleep on the #3 train at 4 in the morning travelling home to Brooklyn from a night of clubbing. I fully expected that we’d make it home safely, there simply was no doubt. Faith is quitting my job about a month before Christmas yet knowing that I would have a new job in time to buy presents. No brainer. Faith is trying to buy a house with one month on a new job. It’s hearing the words, “there’s a problem with the baby’s heartbeat” and trusting that I would survive. What happened to that faith? What happened? Did I lose my nerve or my strength, or did I lose my faith?
My life has taken many detours, sharp hairpin turns, a few miles in reverse and into full speed ahead: find true love, get married, start a family, make a home, build a career. Now, I find myself coasting in neutral and even at this slow speed my foot still hovers over the brake ready to screech to a stop at each intersection. I am cautious with my life’s choices and decisions now. Perhaps rightfully so. I don’t want to do anything that would upset the beautiful life I find myself living. My marriage, my children, my family, my home, my career – this is my life and I must protect it at all costs. I am cautious about what I expose my children to for fear that something will cause them harm. I am cautious of the people I let into my life, afraid of finding out that they do not have my best interests at heart. I am cautious about career decisions as they may ultimately undermine my ability to provide for my family. These are not the thoughts of the faithful. No. These are the thoughts of the fearful. Here’s the thing about living in fear, it leaves no room for faith.
I heard myself talking to a friend a few weeks ago as she explained why she would not let this great guy into her life. I heard my own fear in her words and understood instantly where she was coming from. I understood how she’d shut down the most vulnerable parts of herself to protect her heart from hurt, just as I had shut out certain people and circumstances to protect my life. I heard myself explaining to her how she needed to let go and let her faith guide her. The words just kind of jumbled out pleading with her to live her whole life, not just the parts that looked safe. I listened to myself as I told her let down her guard and let God guard her.
I distinctly recall being in that crowded restaurant, and not caring who heard my near evangelical soliloquy. I remember the light that seemed to fill my heart as I encouraged her to take a leap of faith and trust that God would be with her always – no matter what. I told her that living in fear left no room for God to take care of her and this I believe is true. Living in fear leaves no room for God. But the belief that God will take care of you, provide for you, and protect you, that is faith.
My own cup is half empty of that kind of faith, but every now and then the ‘yes, we can’ chanting becomes a little louder. Some days I can barely hear it, but it’s always there in my heart. These days it grows louder, like the distant sound of a parade marching in my direction.
Faith is the belief that you’re going to be ok no matter what happens, no matter where you end up, no matter what not-so-great ideas that you act on—faith is the belief that it’s going to be alright. I had that kind of faith when I was younger. I look back on decisions I made and paths that were probably best not taken and I shudder with incredulity. Hindsight may be 20/20 but I’d give anything for an ounce of the faith that I had back then.
Faith is falling asleep on the #3 train at 4 in the morning travelling home to Brooklyn from a night of clubbing. I fully expected that we’d make it home safely, there simply was no doubt. Faith is quitting my job about a month before Christmas yet knowing that I would have a new job in time to buy presents. No brainer. Faith is trying to buy a house with one month on a new job. It’s hearing the words, “there’s a problem with the baby’s heartbeat” and trusting that I would survive. What happened to that faith? What happened? Did I lose my nerve or my strength, or did I lose my faith?
My life has taken many detours, sharp hairpin turns, a few miles in reverse and into full speed ahead: find true love, get married, start a family, make a home, build a career. Now, I find myself coasting in neutral and even at this slow speed my foot still hovers over the brake ready to screech to a stop at each intersection. I am cautious with my life’s choices and decisions now. Perhaps rightfully so. I don’t want to do anything that would upset the beautiful life I find myself living. My marriage, my children, my family, my home, my career – this is my life and I must protect it at all costs. I am cautious about what I expose my children to for fear that something will cause them harm. I am cautious of the people I let into my life, afraid of finding out that they do not have my best interests at heart. I am cautious about career decisions as they may ultimately undermine my ability to provide for my family. These are not the thoughts of the faithful. No. These are the thoughts of the fearful. Here’s the thing about living in fear, it leaves no room for faith.
I heard myself talking to a friend a few weeks ago as she explained why she would not let this great guy into her life. I heard my own fear in her words and understood instantly where she was coming from. I understood how she’d shut down the most vulnerable parts of herself to protect her heart from hurt, just as I had shut out certain people and circumstances to protect my life. I heard myself explaining to her how she needed to let go and let her faith guide her. The words just kind of jumbled out pleading with her to live her whole life, not just the parts that looked safe. I listened to myself as I told her let down her guard and let God guard her.
I distinctly recall being in that crowded restaurant, and not caring who heard my near evangelical soliloquy. I remember the light that seemed to fill my heart as I encouraged her to take a leap of faith and trust that God would be with her always – no matter what. I told her that living in fear left no room for God to take care of her and this I believe is true. Living in fear leaves no room for God. But the belief that God will take care of you, provide for you, and protect you, that is faith.
My own cup is half empty of that kind of faith, but every now and then the ‘yes, we can’ chanting becomes a little louder. Some days I can barely hear it, but it’s always there in my heart. These days it grows louder, like the distant sound of a parade marching in my direction.
Friday, October 30, 2009
I am the Cow
Remember the movie “Twister” about the storm chasers? I love the part when they were on the bridge with the storm swirling around them and the cow kept flying by. Well, these days I can identify with the cow.
Most of the time I feel as though I’m in the middle of a twister, with things swirling around me and moving so fast that nothing makes sense. So I wait for the calm in the middle of the storm where there is light and clarity. Like near the end of the movie when they look up into the eye of the storm and the sky is blue and clear. The problem is that those calm, clear moments don’t happen often enough.
Life happens, time marches on and while we have to keep it moving, there is much to be said for taking control – if only for a moment – to find one’s own clarity. Taking time the time to think, to "chill and just be" is a necessity. I’ve read many books about finding happiness in life – anyone who really knows me has witnessed my self-help library :-). The good ones all start with the same founding principle: in the quiet you will find your direction. Some call it meditation, some call it prayer, some even call it retail therapy, but in truth and in fact, it’s how we can create the calm in our storms of our lives, and recharge our batteries to go on. It’s a necessity.
Do yourself a favor, get out your calendar – paper or blackberry – and schedule 10 minutes of “me time”.
Most of the time I feel as though I’m in the middle of a twister, with things swirling around me and moving so fast that nothing makes sense. So I wait for the calm in the middle of the storm where there is light and clarity. Like near the end of the movie when they look up into the eye of the storm and the sky is blue and clear. The problem is that those calm, clear moments don’t happen often enough.
Life happens, time marches on and while we have to keep it moving, there is much to be said for taking control – if only for a moment – to find one’s own clarity. Taking time the time to think, to "chill and just be" is a necessity. I’ve read many books about finding happiness in life – anyone who really knows me has witnessed my self-help library :-). The good ones all start with the same founding principle: in the quiet you will find your direction. Some call it meditation, some call it prayer, some even call it retail therapy, but in truth and in fact, it’s how we can create the calm in our storms of our lives, and recharge our batteries to go on. It’s a necessity.
Do yourself a favor, get out your calendar – paper or blackberry – and schedule 10 minutes of “me time”.
Monday, October 5, 2009
It’s the other 16 hours that count.
“I’m grateful to have a job in this economy, but…” is a very common refrain of late and in this economy following your passion is easier said than done. That is understandable, but don’t give up on your dreams just because you spend 8 hours a day doing something you really don’t like. Remember the other 16 hours!!!!
In a recent episode of Dr. Phil, there was a session with a woman who had been laid off. She’s married and I think she had kids, but her life, her identity and her happiness were wrapped up in that job. I mean, she was on the show to talk about her marriage problems, but it was clear that her life was her title. That’s pretty much all she talked about, even with her husband present. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her career, and the lights went out when she talked about her marriage. I couldn’t help but infer that had she put a fraction of the energy she had for work into working on her husband, she might not be so lost now or so alone.
Not only is that a sad reality because she’s one of the millions of unemployed Americans, but she’s also a great mirror to hold up to your own self image. If you are at work 8 hours and spending the other 16 ruminating over the day’s events, rehashing shoulda, coulda, wouldas, before you fall into a restless sleep…. If you spend Friday night recovering from work and all day Sunday dreading Monday. It’s time to get a life.
Seriously. Not until recently did I realize how much energy I've been giving away to my 9-5, for free! So I'm changing direction, and looking for ways to expand my thinking and pour more energy into the rest of me.
If it's not too late for me, then it's not too late for you. My advice? Spend some time building yourself up, spend time with your family – not distracted time, but wholly “in the moment” time, go to the gym after work, meditate, pray, write a book, take a class, take a walk. Do something that keeps you in touch with your authentic self – the “you” that you have to live with, even when you’re not at work.
In a recent episode of Dr. Phil, there was a session with a woman who had been laid off. She’s married and I think she had kids, but her life, her identity and her happiness were wrapped up in that job. I mean, she was on the show to talk about her marriage problems, but it was clear that her life was her title. That’s pretty much all she talked about, even with her husband present. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her career, and the lights went out when she talked about her marriage. I couldn’t help but infer that had she put a fraction of the energy she had for work into working on her husband, she might not be so lost now or so alone.
Not only is that a sad reality because she’s one of the millions of unemployed Americans, but she’s also a great mirror to hold up to your own self image. If you are at work 8 hours and spending the other 16 ruminating over the day’s events, rehashing shoulda, coulda, wouldas, before you fall into a restless sleep…. If you spend Friday night recovering from work and all day Sunday dreading Monday. It’s time to get a life.
Seriously. Not until recently did I realize how much energy I've been giving away to my 9-5, for free! So I'm changing direction, and looking for ways to expand my thinking and pour more energy into the rest of me.
If it's not too late for me, then it's not too late for you. My advice? Spend some time building yourself up, spend time with your family – not distracted time, but wholly “in the moment” time, go to the gym after work, meditate, pray, write a book, take a class, take a walk. Do something that keeps you in touch with your authentic self – the “you” that you have to live with, even when you’re not at work.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
NEW Webcast! A Possible Cure for EDD (Employee Discontent Disorder)
4 Real Women Talk
In a webcast moderated by Norka Blackman-Richards, President and Founder of 4 Real Women International, Michelle Somers and Brenda Jones will discuss finding personal passion and purpose as a possible cure for EDD (Employee Discontent Disorder). EDD is an epidemic that is troubling many Americans in the workplace today, in particular women. Are you experiencing boredom? Feeling listless? Tired of the same routines? Lost your passion for work? You just might be suffering from EDD.
4 Real Women Talk
In a webcast moderated by Norka Blackman-Richards, President and Founder of 4 Real Women International, Michelle Somers and Brenda Jones will discuss finding personal passion and purpose as a possible cure for EDD (Employee Discontent Disorder). EDD is an epidemic that is troubling many Americans in the workplace today, in particular women. Are you experiencing boredom? Feeling listless? Tired of the same routines? Lost your passion for work? You just might be suffering from EDD.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Chris Gardner is My Hero
I've read lots of self help books and I think the best direction I've ever gotten came from Chris Gardner. In his book Start Where You Are he says "It's up to me and to you to empower ourselves enough to find whatever it is within our current situation that we control, no matter how small it may be -- and start there." It doesn't get any simpler -- Love that!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Are you Tired? Run Down? Listless? A good dose of self-employment may be just what you need
Are you taking a few too many mental health holidays lately? Are you giving a lackluster performance at work these days? Are you finding it increasingly difficult to get out of bed and into the office everyday? Chances are you’re suffering from employee discontent, an all-too-common disorder that may affect us all one day – if we’re lucky.
Twittering, texting, multitasking, assuming roles of wife, mother, significant-other, dealing with both kids and parents, and not to mention bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan: We’re all moving at the speed of light, and each day brings with it a new challenge that either makes us speed up and run with it, or makes us stop dead in our tracks and say, “What’s my motivation?”
Like rats in a maze, we just keep moving forward because that’s what we do. We just keep running, don’t look back and don’t stop. This is the only way to go, isn’t it? I mean, I have a good job – which, let’s face it, is a great blessing these days. And I love my boss, I really do. And that’s why I just don’t have the heart to tell her that I am looking to do something else.
Now is the time
It would seem that now is not the time to think about self-employment, what with bank bailouts, massive layoffs, and rising costs leading the news lately. Well, that’s one way to look at it. On the other hand, now may be the most perfect time to make the move to entrepreneurship. With the economy now turned upside down, there’s a new perspective in business and all the old rules may be out the window. This may be the best opportunity in our lifetime to get creative and try something new. In his recent Harvard Business Publishing blog post, 2009 Will Be an Economic Engine for Change, entrepreneur and brain scientist Jeff Stibel points out that times of economic turmoil are historically and notably times of great creativity and successful business innovation. Economic downturns have generated great ideas, like the cotton gin, the telephone and (ironically) the Small Business Administration. So if you start right now, the odds of success are in your favor. What are you waiting for?
Find your passion
“If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.” -- Anna Quindlen
Find your passion. If you start with something you’re passionate about, be it making cupcakes, frosting donuts or pole dancing, you’ll already have a leg up on success. Pink Magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Cynthia Good wrote in a recent article about women who took a chance, followed their passion, created their own definition of success and live in that happy place every day. If you spend two hours a day getting back and forth to work you don’t like anymore, eight hours working at fulfilling someone else’s dreams, and the rest of your time thinking about all the things you’d rather be doing, then it’s time to stop and find your passion. Ask yourself the tough questions: What do I like doing? What could I do that would serve a purpose and fulfill my spirit? And can I make a business out of it? Chances are, if you keep digging you’ll find the answers, and you’ll find a way to make it work. And then you can live in that happy place – every day.
Help from Uncle Sam
You may not want to hear this, and if you’ve recently been laid off/let go/downsized, you might not be ready to think about this. But if you’re ready to look at the glass as half full, by all means read on. Uncle Sam wants you to explore entrepreneurship. Yes, you read correctly. If you are reading this and you are unemployed, you should check out the Self-Employment Assistance program link on the United States Department of Labor, Education and Training Administration’s Web site. If you live in a state that participates in this program, and you meet certain eligibility requirements, your unemployment could lead you down the path to self-employment. Basically, enrollment in this program provides you with a weekly allowance while you get your business off the ground. If you’re unemployed, meet eligibility requirements, have access to this program and have a business idea, pursuing self-employment should be a no-brainer. Unemployment to self-employment? Sounds like a win-win scenario.
If you’ve been sitting in the dingy cubicle waiting for the boss to give you a shot, -- or if you’re the boss in the corner office dreaming about making cupcakes, frosting donuts or pole dancing – what are you waiting for? While there’s never an ideal time to have a baby, there’s never been a more perfect time to explore self employment. Find your passion, take that leap of faith and go get it.
Twittering, texting, multitasking, assuming roles of wife, mother, significant-other, dealing with both kids and parents, and not to mention bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan: We’re all moving at the speed of light, and each day brings with it a new challenge that either makes us speed up and run with it, or makes us stop dead in our tracks and say, “What’s my motivation?”
Like rats in a maze, we just keep moving forward because that’s what we do. We just keep running, don’t look back and don’t stop. This is the only way to go, isn’t it? I mean, I have a good job – which, let’s face it, is a great blessing these days. And I love my boss, I really do. And that’s why I just don’t have the heart to tell her that I am looking to do something else.
Now is the time
It would seem that now is not the time to think about self-employment, what with bank bailouts, massive layoffs, and rising costs leading the news lately. Well, that’s one way to look at it. On the other hand, now may be the most perfect time to make the move to entrepreneurship. With the economy now turned upside down, there’s a new perspective in business and all the old rules may be out the window. This may be the best opportunity in our lifetime to get creative and try something new. In his recent Harvard Business Publishing blog post, 2009 Will Be an Economic Engine for Change, entrepreneur and brain scientist Jeff Stibel points out that times of economic turmoil are historically and notably times of great creativity and successful business innovation. Economic downturns have generated great ideas, like the cotton gin, the telephone and (ironically) the Small Business Administration. So if you start right now, the odds of success are in your favor. What are you waiting for?
Find your passion
“If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.” -- Anna Quindlen
Find your passion. If you start with something you’re passionate about, be it making cupcakes, frosting donuts or pole dancing, you’ll already have a leg up on success. Pink Magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Cynthia Good wrote in a recent article about women who took a chance, followed their passion, created their own definition of success and live in that happy place every day. If you spend two hours a day getting back and forth to work you don’t like anymore, eight hours working at fulfilling someone else’s dreams, and the rest of your time thinking about all the things you’d rather be doing, then it’s time to stop and find your passion. Ask yourself the tough questions: What do I like doing? What could I do that would serve a purpose and fulfill my spirit? And can I make a business out of it? Chances are, if you keep digging you’ll find the answers, and you’ll find a way to make it work. And then you can live in that happy place – every day.
Help from Uncle Sam
You may not want to hear this, and if you’ve recently been laid off/let go/downsized, you might not be ready to think about this. But if you’re ready to look at the glass as half full, by all means read on. Uncle Sam wants you to explore entrepreneurship. Yes, you read correctly. If you are reading this and you are unemployed, you should check out the Self-Employment Assistance program link on the United States Department of Labor, Education and Training Administration’s Web site. If you live in a state that participates in this program, and you meet certain eligibility requirements, your unemployment could lead you down the path to self-employment. Basically, enrollment in this program provides you with a weekly allowance while you get your business off the ground. If you’re unemployed, meet eligibility requirements, have access to this program and have a business idea, pursuing self-employment should be a no-brainer. Unemployment to self-employment? Sounds like a win-win scenario.
If you’ve been sitting in the dingy cubicle waiting for the boss to give you a shot, -- or if you’re the boss in the corner office dreaming about making cupcakes, frosting donuts or pole dancing – what are you waiting for? While there’s never an ideal time to have a baby, there’s never been a more perfect time to explore self employment. Find your passion, take that leap of faith and go get it.
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