The Lost Art of Visiting

When I was a kid, the cool thing to do was hang out at a friend’s house. Especially in the summer, when we’d sit on each other’s stoops and talk, joke around and just hang out. We watched Luke and Laura get married at my house. We played UNO next door, and watched the Thriller video (mesmerized) on a Betamax video player across the street. We’d get together and watch Hot Tracks, or the occasional birthday party with ice cream and cake.


Back then my family used to do a lot of visiting, too. My family was huge (or at least it seemed huge to me). Dozens of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents would get together at family reunions, weddings, barbeques and fish fries. Visiting: talking, joking and just hanging out. Those were the best times, seeing my parents become kids again in the presence of their elders and have fun.

Whether it was with my friends or my huge family, there seemed to always be something going on – something to celebrate, some function to capture with my Polaroid camera.

Nowadays, people don’t seem to do much visiting.

As I grew up, my friends in the neighborhood all moved away to begin their adult lives – off to college, off to get married, to the Navy, Army and Air Force. Scattered like leaves in the breeze.

My family landscape seems to have changed too. The older generation has gotten older or has passed on and the younger generation is not as good at the barbeque, fish fry, family reunion thing.

One could blame it on the 90’s when everyone concentrated on getting ahead, or the events of 2001 which sent people cocooning into their homes. We could also blame it on email, twitter, texting and Skype which seem to have eliminated the need for actual face to face contact.

But Skype doesn’t let you hug that friend you haven’t seen in ages. You can XoXo until thumbs are purple but texting doesn’t let you kiss the forehead of your brother’s new baby. Email messages are not the same as sitting in someone’s kitchen as they share a joke, or tell you their news. It’s just not the same.

Facebook, however, has promise. You can find those long lost friends and poke that relative who’s been quiet for so long, or post your address and an invitation to your next barbeque. Try it for yourself and rediscover the lost art of visiting. XOXO.