When I was a kid, the cool thing to do was hang out at a friend’s house. Especially in the summer, when we’d sit on each other’s stoops and talk, joke around and just hang out. We watched Luke and Laura get married at my house. We played UNO next door, and watched the Thriller video (mesmerized) on a Betamax video player across the street. We’d get together and watch Hot Tracks, or the occasional birthday party with ice cream and cake.
Back then my family used to do a lot of visiting, too. My family was huge (or at least it seemed huge to me). Dozens of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents would get together at family reunions, weddings, barbeques and fish fries. Visiting: talking, joking and just hanging out. Those were the best times, seeing my parents become kids again in the presence of their elders and have fun.
Whether it was with my friends or my huge family, there seemed to always be something going on – something to celebrate, some function to capture with my Polaroid camera.
Nowadays, people don’t seem to do much visiting.
As I grew up, my friends in the neighborhood all moved away to begin their adult lives – off to college, off to get married, to the Navy, Army and Air Force. Scattered like leaves in the breeze.
My family landscape seems to have changed too. The older generation has gotten older or has passed on and the younger generation is not as good at the barbeque, fish fry, family reunion thing.
One could blame it on the 90’s when everyone concentrated on getting ahead, or the events of 2001 which sent people cocooning into their homes. We could also blame it on email, twitter, texting and Skype which seem to have eliminated the need for actual face to face contact.
But Skype doesn’t let you hug that friend you haven’t seen in ages. You can XoXo until thumbs are purple but texting doesn’t let you kiss the forehead of your brother’s new baby. Email messages are not the same as sitting in someone’s kitchen as they share a joke, or tell you their news. It’s just not the same.
Facebook, however, has promise. You can find those long lost friends and poke that relative who’s been quiet for so long, or post your address and an invitation to your next barbeque. Try it for yourself and rediscover the lost art of visiting. XOXO.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Define Your Own Success
When you first started out in your career, you probably said something like: I want to make Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker by the time I’m 25/35/45. So you worked like crazy, completely focused on learning your business and mastering your craft, when suddenly you look up and find that you’ve made it. The company promotes you to Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker. Break out the champagne, or maybe its Miller time but go ahead and enjoy your accomplishment, you’ve certainly earned it. Congrats! Woohoo!
Eventually the buzz passes and its time to settle into the new gig, learn the ropes and do the work. What may surprise you is that its not as great as you thought it would be. How did that happen? Its kind of like the buyer’s remorse for new homeowners. You’re looking at the white picket fence and thinking its worth the price but once you fork over all your cash and sign your name to a tremendous pile of legal documents, you’re faced with the reality of those big payments for 30 years!
The same principle could apply to your Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker goal. You spent so much time focused on getting there, that you never stopped to think about what actually happens when you get there? The view from the top of your mountain may look very different than what you had envisioned. Its too late to turn back once you get there, but there are important clues on the journey to the top if we just slow down and notice the signs.
What do you do? What if you love the nitty gritty task management and being involved in the day to day. At your level, that’s par for the course, but one or two levels above may not be as involved. Would you be happy sitting in meetings day after day talking through big picture strategy and long term planning? Or would you long for the days when you could cross things off your to do list every day? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s important to note as it could lead to major dissatisfaction in the executive suite. Be sure to do your research and talk to people in the position you’re after and ask that “typical day on the job” question. Then plan your direction accordingly.
What about money? Money isn’t everything. Sure, it can solve a heck of a lot of problems and help you sleep a little better a night knowing that the bills are paid, but its really not everything. Let’s compare your local job to a higher paying position in the city. The pay scale for local, around the way jobs may be lower but will the thought of extra dollar signs be enough when you’re headed off to work packed on a train full of grumpy strangers at the crack of dawn? Or how about when your train is delayed and you’re stuck with those same grumpy strangers and you miss your kid’s school concert. Your kids will plow through that extra money before you can blink, but they would always remember your smiling face from the back row of the concert.
What about you? The bills are paid, the lights are on and the fridge is full. You’re able to make it to several school functions and your view is better than it was before your promotion. Itemized on paper, your new job has more pros than cons and it looks perfect. But something is still gnawing at you. Well, looks aren’t everything. Maybe its time to focus on home since you’ve spent so much energy focused on work. It may just be that youre ready for your next challenge. Just be mindful of the signs as you speed off to your next plateau.
Eventually the buzz passes and its time to settle into the new gig, learn the ropes and do the work. What may surprise you is that its not as great as you thought it would be. How did that happen? Its kind of like the buyer’s remorse for new homeowners. You’re looking at the white picket fence and thinking its worth the price but once you fork over all your cash and sign your name to a tremendous pile of legal documents, you’re faced with the reality of those big payments for 30 years!
The same principle could apply to your Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker goal. You spent so much time focused on getting there, that you never stopped to think about what actually happens when you get there? The view from the top of your mountain may look very different than what you had envisioned. Its too late to turn back once you get there, but there are important clues on the journey to the top if we just slow down and notice the signs.
What do you do? What if you love the nitty gritty task management and being involved in the day to day. At your level, that’s par for the course, but one or two levels above may not be as involved. Would you be happy sitting in meetings day after day talking through big picture strategy and long term planning? Or would you long for the days when you could cross things off your to do list every day? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s important to note as it could lead to major dissatisfaction in the executive suite. Be sure to do your research and talk to people in the position you’re after and ask that “typical day on the job” question. Then plan your direction accordingly.
What about money? Money isn’t everything. Sure, it can solve a heck of a lot of problems and help you sleep a little better a night knowing that the bills are paid, but its really not everything. Let’s compare your local job to a higher paying position in the city. The pay scale for local, around the way jobs may be lower but will the thought of extra dollar signs be enough when you’re headed off to work packed on a train full of grumpy strangers at the crack of dawn? Or how about when your train is delayed and you’re stuck with those same grumpy strangers and you miss your kid’s school concert. Your kids will plow through that extra money before you can blink, but they would always remember your smiling face from the back row of the concert.
What about you? The bills are paid, the lights are on and the fridge is full. You’re able to make it to several school functions and your view is better than it was before your promotion. Itemized on paper, your new job has more pros than cons and it looks perfect. But something is still gnawing at you. Well, looks aren’t everything. Maybe its time to focus on home since you’ve spent so much energy focused on work. It may just be that youre ready for your next challenge. Just be mindful of the signs as you speed off to your next plateau.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
