Holiday Shopping: My Rant

When exactly did shopping become the new American pastime? Probably when retail stores flipped the script and started opening on Sunday’s – back in the 70’s. Before then, all we had to do on Sunday was rest, relax and recharge… Same for the Friday after Thanksgiving, before the day turned “black.” Those were the good old days.

When I was a kid, I remember watching TV the day after Thanksgiving and seeing commercials for Barbie’s dream house and the GI Joe action figure sandwiched between Tom & Jerry, Magilla Gorilla and Top Cat. I sat there with a pen and paper (even then I was organized, LOL), and wrote a list of all the things I saw that I wanted. But it was in my living room, in my robe and slippers, not at Toys R’Us midnight madness… This Thanksgiving Friday, I followed my usual regimen, building up a carb-induced coma in my robe and slippers, like all the years before. I opted to celebrate good old Thanksgiving, rather than the new Black Friday – Cyber Monday spendapalooza. Apparently, my family was the only family missing from the mall.

According to the National Retail Federation, a record 247 million shoppers visited stores and websites over Black Friday weekend, (up from 226 million last year) with the average holiday shopper spending $423. $423 multiplied by 247 million people… That’s $ 104,481,000,000!! So what about the fiscal cliff? The recession? The economy? Unemployment? Did those realities fade away with the cranberry sauce? Or maybe we’re in denial, and we’re just not as worried as we should be…

If you’re my age or older, you probably remember when Thanksgiving was Thanksgiving and Christmas was Christmas. Other than the appearance of Santa Claus at the end of the Macy’s parade, they were separate. Now, the poor folks who work for stores like WalMart and Target, have to cut their turkey short and get to work. That’s just crazy.

But what does that SAY about us? Not as individuals, but as a society? Are we done with giving thanks for all our blessings, and our friends, and our families? Are we not grateful for surviving the dramas we all deal with day to day, but for surviving the sicknesses, the wars, and the storms? Since when is getting a great bargain on an item that was overpriced to begin with, exchangeable for spending time with your loved ones and making memories that will last you a lifetime? Years from now, will you really treasure that thing you bought that you can’t even remember, or will you wish you’d spent more time with those loved ones who aren’t here anymore?

My daughter commented recently about how Thanksgiving is the forgotten holiday. Right after Halloween, retailers start switching pumpkins for Santa decorations, and cable starts promoting its countdown to Christmas, running Rudolph and Frosty shows non-stop until December 25th… creating fertile soil for advertisers to seed our minds with visions of doorbuster sales that will grow their pockets with our money…Essentially creating a 60-day buildup to a 1-day holiday. Aside from that fact that Christmas for many is one of the holiest days on the calendar and should have more time… We’ve also reduced Thanksgiving to a 10-minute dinner so that we can rush out and spend, spend, spend.

In his recent article on Forbes.com entitled "Why Walmart is Not Evil For Opening on Thanksgiving," Richard Saintvilus wrote, “Walmart’s plan is to open after 8PM – long after every one has eaten and certainly after second and third portions have had enough time to be digested. Still this is nothing new as the company also opened on Thanksgiving of last year – except this time it wants to open two hours earlier. Again, I ask where is the crime?”

If you know anything about me, you know that I love to shop and over the years, I’ve single-handedly kept several retailers operating in the black.  So I’m not vilifying Walmart (or my beloved Macy’s) and I’m certainly not saying that shopping is a crime.  I think its great that the economy is seeing and hopefully benefitting from the millions of shoppers spending billions of dollars and putting thousands of people to work in the process.  (NBC reported that cyber-giant Amazon hired 50,000 workers for this holiday season alone). 

I’m just saying…  Can we rethink the Thanksgiving Thursday night shopping thing and spend (pun intended) a little more time on Thanksgiving just giving thanks?

 

Reason to Celebrate

Going to college is the first step of the American dream: Get an education…Get a good job…Start a family…Buy a house. Well, I have three out of four, and when I get the degree, I'll have the them all. Truth be told, it’s a little after the fact. Why at this stage in my life have I decided to finish my degree? Well…

Top Four Reasons I'm Going Back to College:

1. To become a great writer

2. To be admitted to "the club"

3. To write a really big check

4. To throw a really fabulous party

To become a great writer.

I've always been a good writer, but I long to be a great writer – like Carrie Bradshaw.

Sex and the City was more than titillating cable programming; it was a glimpse into my dream career. Take away the nudity, the high fashion and the hustling city life, and what you're left with is a woman who writes a weekly column based on her daily experience and gets paid enough to buy Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos. She's a writer, she's well paid, well dressed and well heeled. I've come to realize that the only thing standing between me and Jimmy Choo could be my degree – or the lack thereof. I've always been a good writer, but if I take the time to concentrate on perfecting my craft and developing my style, nothing can stop me from becoming a great writer.

To be admitted to the club.
Everyone on my team is a college graduate, and to be an official member of the club, I need a college degree. Every once in a while the conversation will turn toward "where'd you go to school?" and I say "I never actually finished." There's usually an almost imperceptible raising of the eyebrow, an embarrassed, "Oh, well, you'd never know it…" and the sound of a mental note being filed. I'm tired of not being able to say, ‘yes I have my degree, here's my transcript.’

My husband is an Electrical Engineer. My brother in-law has a Bachelor of Science in Marketing, a Masters in Public Administration and a Master of Education. My brother – my baby brother – holds a PhD in English. Though I've never actually been denied admittance to the college graduate club, I won't be an official member, until I graduate.

To write a really, big check.
I was in the 11th grade when a student/recruiter from Howard University came to our class. He didn't need to say very much since I was already convinced that it was the school for me. I remember when I said to my parents, "I want to go to Howard." …and I remember when they replied "Howard costs a lot of money." Unfortunately, I dropped the idea of college, right then and there, and I went to work right after high school. Then came marriage, my daughter, my house, my son, my son…

Now years later, I'm excited again about college, but money is still tight. It's frustrating to have the drive and energy but not the money. This time I won't let that stop me, and I don't want money to stop other women like me.

After I graduate –I want to establish a scholarship fund for working mothers who want to go back to school but need a lift over the tuition hurdle. I want to be the fairy godmother who grants the wish for fees, tuition and books by wielding my magic wand and writing a really, big check.

Why am I going back to college? To Celebrate!
We are a party culture. We celebrate the milestones in our lives: birth, baptism, bar mitzvah, sweet sixteen, wedding, retirement – party, party, party. Taking the time to stop and revel in the splendor of your good fortune is what keeps the light alive in your heart. Throwing open our doors and inviting people in to share in the good fortune is what keeps the light alive in the hearts of others.

Going back to school and completing my degree would be a major milestone for me. To finally pursue writing with the skills only college can provide… To be able to hold my head up and say to the world, "I did it. I'm a college grad"… To share that good fortune with my friends, my family and the world by helping someone else get there, too? That's a milestone; that's a blessing; that's something that will keep the heart lights going – and that's a reason to celebrate.

By the way, my graduation is June 16, 2012  :-)

Keep the Faith

It’s incredible to me how people can keep their faith when things get bad. True, bad is relative, and what’s bad for one is not so bad for another. But those people who are always up, always positive and always optimistic are truly gifted and I hope they know it. Oh wait, they probably do – I just wish that they would spread it around and share it with those who need it.

Don Cornelius wished us love, peace and SOOOUUUL every Saturday morning on Soul Train. He gave the stage to some of the best musicians of all time: Aretha Franklin, the mighty Ojays, Gladys Knight & the Pips, Michael Jackson and hundreds of others. Yet, with all that music stirring his soul, he still found no recourse, no way out of his physical or spiritual depression and killed himself yesterday – at gunpoint. You’ve got to be at the depths of despair without any hope or faith at all, to put a gun to your own head and pull the trigger. May Don’s spirit rest in peace.

On his radio show this morning, Steve Harvey said that for Don to take his own life that he must have lost his faith. I agree with him when he said that the saddest of all things is to lose faith. Faith that you can make it through, faith in whomever you call God, faith that you’ve got the strength to ask for help and that help will come. Faith ultimately is what lets you lay your head down at night and dream about tomorrow. You can’t lose faith – without it you’ve got nothing.