Who are you, really?

Two of my favorite female characters are Kandi Burruss of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and the infamous Samantha Jones of Sex and the City. What I love about them is that they know exactly who they are and no matter where they are, no matter who is watching, they are who they are. The irony that they are both paid to perform for the camera notwithstanding, they are both authentic characters.


Kandi is a self-made, successful singer and songwriter. She’s very down to earth, nothing fazes her and when she sees bull---- she calls it like it is. Love that. Kandi was attending a really chi-chi-poo-poo bridal shower on a recent episode, where the women were dressed to the nines – big hats, gloves, and ballerinas. So in a very small gesture, as she was alighting from her Mercedes for the event, she puts on her big hat. Looking like a new millennium Minnie Pearl, with the price tag dangling from her obviously new big hat, she snatches off the price tag and keeps on strutting. Cool.

Then there’s Samantha Jones, so comfortable in her heterosexuality – as any fan of the show knows. Always ready for whatever comes up, she’s open for new, ummm, opportunities, and she doesn’t hold her tongue – no puns intended. Even in Abu Dhabi surrounded by women shrouded in burkas, and people all around are speaking in whispers – she speaks her mind, loudly.

A good friend of mine, let’s call her PB, once told me that women get to a certain age and they recognize who they really are. They no longer live for approval, or acceptance they embrace themselves, do what feels right and keep on strutting. In today's terms, that someone is your authentic self.

Male or female, we have all bought into other people's ideas of who we are and what we should say and do. Whether its our family, or our boss, or society in general. But we spend so much of our lives and our energy trying to meet someone else's expectations that eventually we resent the restrictions and we come to resent ourselves for living half a life. Well, here's my expectation for you. Live your whole life, be your whole self, and be happy in it.

Its not an easy thing to and I don't know exactly how to do that, but I have caught glimpses of the real me..The one who loves my husband, my kids and my family - shopping, movies, good music and the beach…The one who really, really doesn't like getting up before noon...The one who doesn't like confrontations, but will handle it when necessary. I recognize those are some of the things that make me me, and I'm learning to embrace that she is my authentic self. She's not perfect, and she’s not here full-time yet but I’m working on it.

Have you met your authentic self? http://www.oprah.com/spirit/New-Years-Resolution-Just-Be-Yourself